Humans are the Only Animals that Self-Soothe

The Difference Between Pain and Suffering

We have an ingrained tendency to avoid pain at all costs. There is an intense fear of feeling pain and an array of misconceptions that sustain and amplify that fear. We don’t fully understand the nature of pain or the difference between pain and suffering, and this is essential to understanding why humans are the only animals that seek to self-soothe.

When an animal feels pain due to an injury or illness, it simply experiences it, listens to its body, responds accordingly, and waits. It takes the necessary actions to restore balance, but the goal is not to reduce the intensity of the pain; instead, it is to recover its abilities. The animal does not judge or evaluate the painful situation or question if the pain is bearable. It simply experiences it and lets the body do what it needs to self-regulate.

Humans are the only animals who set parameters for “how much pain they can endure” and judge painful situations as “bearable” or “unbearable.” Animals merely play their part in helping the body self-regulate, whether by resting, adjusting their posture, stretching or contracting muscles, licking wounds, or staying still so that healing can occur naturally. They don’t think about “the right way to heal”—they intuitively know because they are in tune with their body’s signals. By not attempting to numb the pain, the intensity guides them: whether to remain still, move, eat, or fast. They don’t ask anyone outside if their pain is normal, nor do they compare themselves with other animals that are suffering. They simply live what they need to live at that moment. If the body cannot self-regulate, the animal’s life ends, yet there is no suffering in this.

The difference between pain and suffering lies in all of the above. Pain resides in the body, felt in a specific place, and when fully felt, it nullifies the ability to think—you can only be that pain, whether physical or emotional. Suffering, on the other hand, arises when the mind intervenes, and its intervention is directly aimed at reducing the intensity of the pain.

The evaluation of whether something is bearable or not occurs in the mind, based on socially learned standards, and seeks to make the “necessary adjustments” to stop feeling what is being felt. This is not a natural self-regulation that aims to restore balance but rather an intervention to diminish something that needs to be felt. Thinking is required to shift focus away from the physical sensation to stop feeling it. This can mean either thinking about something completely different, ignoring the cause of the pain as if it doesn’t exist, or thinking about the pain itself, either lamenting it or self-motivating to cope. This is what we call suffering.

Pain has a beginning and an end. Suffering, however, can be sustained over time as thoughts feed it. Continuing to think—or having thoughts to avoid thinking about it—intensifies suffering.

But why is all this important? How does it impact the way we live and perceive life? Avoiding pain, especially emotional pain, keeps us from undertaking the work of confronting and transforming our wounds. Taking responsibility for our wounds is what allows us to grow and evolve. It is what expands consciousness and broadens our understanding of ourselves.

However, out of fear of pain, we can live an entire life avoiding our wounds, thus preventing our consciousness from growing. This leads us to become rigid in our constructed identities and in the personality we’ve built, which is itself a product of the efforts we made as children to avoid pain. Living without questioning one’s personality is to “freely” resign oneself to life in prison—a prison that is invisible yet felt deeply within. It is a prison of self, filled with wounds that fester and cause internal distress, which we try to endure to keep on living. A life without increased awareness lacks profound meaning.

So, the question becomes: what kind of life do you wish to live?